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A Seasonal Message From A CWU Mental Health First Aider
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The CWU in the North West is very proud of the over 200 Mental Health First Aiders (MHFA) the Union has recruited and trained, with the inspiration of MHFA traners like Jamie McGovern, Emma Gardner, and ex-Health & Safety Lead for the North West Regional Committee, Mark D Holt.
Another inspirational MHFA can be found in the form of CWU member and postal worker, Kevin Gibbs. Here, he shares grief and offers hope:
The Sophie shaped hole in my broken heart will always be there after she was killed in such tragic circumstances at the end of May 2024.
I will be a bereaved Dad until my last breath, my wife a bereaved mum, and our daughter a bereaved sister. We will never be the same again. What you see on the outside isn't what is going on inside.
Some days, I have to do things to protect myself from the pain and the hurt. I have to distance myself from negativity as this just drains me. I have to surround myself with people who breathe life into me and not suck oxygen out. If sometimes it looks like I'm keeping a distance, it's because my mind is overloaded, and I struggle to process and deal with the situation.
Going on my journey of grief has changed me forever, and there are 2 noticeable changes.
The first is my tolerance for nonsense, and bullshit is now zero. Tragedy puts life in perspective and helps you focus on what's important. The other is the disappointment of seeing people for who and what they really are. People who just want the latest news so they can then pretend to be your friend, promise everything but deliver nothing. I'm sorry, but that's just how it is.
Our granddaughter will be spending her second Christmas in hospital after sustaining life changing injuries in the accident that killed her Mummy. The future is still uncertain, but she is not just the bravest little girl I know but the bravest person.
She would give everything to be able to get out of bed, and I would swap places with her in a heartbeat.
I'm in my mid 50's and have lived, and she's only 4, and still has a life to live. Every week on visiting days, to see her smile and hear her say silly old Grandad means everything to me as there was a time when no one knew if this would ever be possible.
There have been some wonderful times and memories this year, raising £700 for the play specialists who work so hard helping our granddaughter, our daughter graduated from university as a qualified nurse, and then also got married. Both days were bittersweet as special people were missing.
Being at home with my wife is my safe place. It's a place filled with love and a calm, peaceful, tranquil feeling where I can be myself. I can live, laugh, and cry and not be judged.
Playing golf, not very well at times, allows me to distract the mind and slow down my irrational overthinking. All those in the golf groups will never understand how much you help me.
Ask yourself a question.
What is the difference between want and need? I want for nothing as I have everything I need.
This may sound strange after I talk about grief and change, but I accept the situation, I don't like it, and I wish it was different and never happened, but I can't change it. This is my acceptance.
My gratitude is for the special people in my life who help me during my darkest days. You've held my hand to stop me from falling, offered me a shoulder to cry on, and arms to help carry the burden. You know who you are. So, as the festive season approaches, squeeze your loved ones a little longer and a little tighter as life can change in an instant. On Christmas Day, Kevin wrote:
Merry Christmas everyone Thanks to everyone for their ongoing support. It's not about what's under the tree, it's about who is round your table. Save a seat for those who can't be there. Sophie will always have a seat at ours
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Designed: Chris Ingram, Jamie McGovern |
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It's the time of year I get reflective. I think it's important sometimes to just sit and think about the present moment. The NOW is the only moment in time you can actually make a difference.